Survey Results: Play Dates and Gun Safety

The right to bear arms is protected in the second amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Though we don't like to think about it, it turns out that many of our neighbors have exercised this right to keep guns in their own homes. A map showing how many people in Scarsdale have applied for pistol permits was published in the Journal News in 2012. Many of us remember that Scarsdale, as well as neighboring towns, had a surprising number of red dots on the map indicating addresses where a pistol permit had been obtained.

According to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, 1 in 3 homes with kids have a gun nationwide and about ½ of these are unlocked. In 2010, 116 children (0-19 years) were killed by guns in New York State and 389 were injured non-fatally in 2011. Half of all unintentional shooting deaths of kids occur when kids are playing with a loaded gun in their home.

Child Access Prevention (CAP) laws impose criminal liability on adults who allow children unsupervised access to firearms. Since this law passed in some areas, the incidence of gun-related injuries and deaths has decreased by nearly 25%. The National Rifle Association (NRA), opposed the CAP laws and developed a cartoon character called Eddie Eagle in an effort to teach kids what to do if they find a gun, thereby attempting to prevent accidents: "Stop. Don't touch. Run away. Tell a grown up". The NRA acknowledges that parents may make a mistake and leave a gun unattended. Whereas the NRA puts the onus on the child to do the right thing, CAP policy puts the onus on the adult to ensure that guns are safely stored.

When kids were asked if they know where a parent hides a gun most do know, yet most parents who are asked this same question think the kids do not know where it's hidden. The ASK campaign (Asking Saves Kids) aims to teach parents the value of asking, when your child is going to someone's house, if guns are kept locked and unloaded for safety reasons. Over 19 million people have pledged to begin asking this question.

I grew interested in this topic when I realized that I might be dropping my children off for play dates at homes with loaded guns. It's an important issue that people rarely discuss. Before leaving our kids in someone else's care, we often ask about booster seats in cars, what will be served for snack and who will be supervising the children. But we seldom ask questions about guns that could be far more lethal than sugar, and can change lives in an instant. We found that only 3 out of 99 respondents had ever been asked a question about gun in their homes by another parent. Are you comfortable asking about safety measures taken if guns are kept in a house and answering similar questions about guns you may keep in your own home?

To learn more about how local parents deal with the potential presence of guns, I conducted my own local survey and received anonymous answers. Here are the results I received from 100 respondents:

Question:
Have you talked to your kids about gun safety?
Response:
46% said yes, 54% said no.

Question:
If yes, at what age did you talk to your kids about gun safety?
Response:
3-5 21%
6-8 26%
9-12 14%
13+ 6%
n/a 45%

Question:
Have you ever been asked the question when you've had a play date come to your home: "If you keep a gun in your home, do you keep it locked up and unloaded?"
Response:
Only 3 out of 99 people said yes, they have been asked that question.

Question:
Have you ever asked that same question yourself: "If you keep a gun in your home do you keep it locked up and unloaded?"
Response:
More people have asked this question themselves than have been asked.
16% of people said yes and 84% of respondents said no.

Question:
Are you comfortable being asked the above question?
Response:
91% said yes, only 9% said no.

Question:
Are you comfortable asking the above question?
Response:
49% said yes and 51% said no.

Many people left comments on the survey. Here are some that I found interesting:

"I also don't ask about other more likely dangers"

"Somehow I feel that guns aren't likely to be owned by private citizens in this area so I haven't asked. Would anyone admit to owning a non-locked up gun though?"

"Nonsense "survey" designed to create fear and loathing for firearms."

"I never would have asked these questions until the map of gun permit holders was published a few years ago. I was shocked by the number of Scarsdale residents with weapons permits. Since then, if my children were still of playdate age, I would as."

"Anyone that keeps a gun locked up will not leave it unloaded. "

"Never occurred to ask"

"It is too politically charged (no pun intended)"

"I never thought about it. Maybe I should."

"This is a topic that is almost never discussed amongst parents. Sorely needs more awareness."

"I wish we all felt more comfortable asking this of each other before play dates."

"I was asked this once and initially I was insulted and felt like the mom was crazy. But the more I think about it now, the less crazy it seems."

"I have thought about asking the gun question but am leery of offending other families and being labeled 'that weird mom who thinks we may have a gun'. And this is even though I once worked at a magazine that did a major feature on guns and kids. I was in charge of opening reader mail in response to the story. Once I opened an envelope and out fell a photo of an adorable red headed girl with freckles and a crooked smile. The accompanying note said This was my daughter. She cut class for the first time and went to a friend's house. The friend was showing her his father's gun when it accidentally went off and killed her. The social pressure not to ask about guns is sadly even stronger than the memory of that terrible, sad letter. "

"I support the second amendment and believe we have the right to own firearms. However, given the completely inappropriate publication of names of handgun licensees by the Journal and the public harassment of conservatives, second Amendment supporters and gun owners, I would not reveal my political positions or my gun ownership or lack thereof to another parent. Given that most people here have drunk the left wing Kool-Aid I would be frankly shocked if any of my kids' friends' families had a gun. In fact, among the ones with whom I've discussed this issue, I'm the only one who even supports gun rights. The only people I know who own guns live out of state. It is also incredibly difficult to own a handgun in NY - the process is onerous. So, while this is a relevant issue, I think you are making mountains out of molehills in our little enclave. A better place to start might be an anonymous survey to see how many in Scarsdale actually own firearms."

"I feel safer knowing that a parent is able to protect my child in the event of some horrific crazed addict or burglar...gun owners who are licensed are much safer about gun safety...it is unlicensed criminals that cause issues."

"I was asked this question once about 7 years ago and I remember being shocked by then thinking 'How smart!' Thank you for this survey- we should all start asking this important question."

I decided to ask the question myself for the first time when my son was invited to play at a new friend's house where I did not know the parents. Prior to dropping off my son I emailed the mom to answer her question about whether my son had any food allergies. I then asked, "Just wanted to ask one safety question that's important to me... If ou keep a gun in the house, do you keep it locked and unloaded?" She wrote back immediately that they actually don't even own a gun. I then explained why I was asking and breathed a sigh of relief. I was surprised at how uncomfortable the question was for me to ask."

"I followed up with her for this article and asked the mom if she was taken aback by the question and what her honest impression was of me asking it. She said, "I was not taken aback only because I had a parent ask me that question before. I remember at that time being somewhat shocked by the question at first and having to think through my reaction as to why I felt so shocked. As a family we don't carry guns, we also don't promote the idea of people owning guns. I think my initial reaction came from a defensive place. Then I realized that it was in fact a very mature and responsible question to ask. You are allowing your child into my home. You are entrusting us with his care. It is your right as his mother to ask whatever questions you want regarding his safety and as his 'caretaker' I should be willing to answer those questions without being defensive or taking offense. In my opinion it's good parenting. When you asked I had already thought through all of this and I was more than happy to answer. When kids are on play dates it's instinctual for them to want to impress their friends. It's during moments like those that kids can and will try and access those things that they know they shouldn't be near."

I also asked whether she would ask the same question. She answered, "It's not something I would have considered before now, but if I felt like I needed to ask that question I wouldn't shy away from it. We live in a time where a lot of people keep guns in their homes. Not everyone is responsible in ensuring they are properly locked away as we have seen in too many news reports. Asking the question if you own a gun and if it's properly locked away is no different than asking if your pool has a fence or if your yard has a gate or if you make the kids wear helmets when they ride scooters or bikes. My honest thoughts are if it's your kid (my kid) you as a parent have the responsibility to ask those questions. As a parent looking after your child I should be happy to offer up that information to you. It's better to ask the awkward questions than live a lifetime of regret."

June 21st is National ASK Day (Asking Saves Kids) to raise awareness about guns and kids. They encourage all parents to ask, "Is there an unlocked gun in your house?" before dropping their children off to play.

Will you ask this important question to parents in your neighborhood? What are your thoughts on this issue?