The News and You: How to Talk to Your Kids About Money
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The darkening economic picture and the wild swings in the stock market have made many in Scarsdale worry (again) about their own financial futures. It’s true that money can’t buy happiness—we all know people who have huge bank accounts and are miserable—but it does help pay for a lot of fun things like vacations, dinners at restaurants, new clothes, new gadgets and so on. Despite your best intentions, your kids may have already started to equate the two. More likely, the kids assume these fun things are just part of life. But that may not always be the case. Anxiety over jobs, savings and the future is palpable in Scarsdale as it is everywhere. The current economy may force you to cut back, or you may want to change your spending ways before something dire happens. You and your spouse may be on the same page about changing your family’s spending habits, but getting this across to your kids without scaring them or upsetting them isn’t the easiest of tasks. It’s do-able and it may even teach them a thing or two.
Kathleen Piaggesi, a Certified Financial Planner based in Scarsdale, offers these tips for talking to your kids about money:
The Money Out of the ATM is Not Infinite: A lot of kids, especially younger ones may see you run to the bank and a wad of $20s suddenly appears. They may think there’s just a magic endless supply. In fact when my son was about six he once suggested we install an ATM machine in our foyer to spit out an endless supply of bills. Explain your expenses to your children – and tailor the conversation to be appropriate for their age. There is no need to get into the details of how much you earn and what your mortgage or car payments cost you each month; but you can list your expenses and say you only make a certain amount and you all must work within that framework.
You may want to consider limiting trips to the bank to once a week and taking out what you think you’ll need in cash. It may feel retro but it could increase your awareness of what you spend for you and your kids and give you ideas about how you can cut back.
Tie Allowance to Chores and No Longer Be Bank of Dad or Mom: Again, totally retro, but our parents may have had a point. Make the kids work for what they earn, even if it’s just straightening their rooms or clearing the dinner table. They may even like the sense of responsibility this gives them. Of course you won’t let your kid starve or be without a few dollars in their pocket if they go somewhere, but try and be firm on this one. It may seem like common sense and people reading this may sniff that this is why kids today are spoiled brats, but a lot of parents work hard to give their kids the best life possible and that often means giving them money whenever they need it. Remind yourself that giving them responsibility and setting limits is part of being a good parent.
If You Have to Cut Back- Do It Together: Kids will see the hypocrisy immediately if they are forced to cut back on things and you are still doing all the things you’ve always done. Cut back as well. You may not be the most flagrant of spenders in your home, but demonstrate that this is a group effort. Piaggesi adds that your children may also feel singled out or punished if they are asked to change their ways and you do not. Piaggesi says that if you approach cutting back or saving as doing something as a family the kids may be more receptive.
Keep Calm and Make a Game Plan: These are difficult times and you may have lost your job -- or are living on less due to the loss of a bonus or investment income. It can be scary and overwhelming. If you have older kids, they may remember what it was like in 2008 and understand what is going on now. They may be very nervous about their future, college or their overall sense of security and be too upset to talk about it. Make your family a team. Talk about a plan but try and do it in a broader context. Explain that not going on a vacation this year, or not doing a certain after-school activity or shopping in certain stores will save the family money and secure your future. You may be freaking out inside, but try and stay calm when talking to your kids about money. These dark days could be a time of real growth in your family and when you get through it--and you will--you and your family will come out stronger, smarter and perhaps more appreciative of what you have.
Jen is a freelance journalist who has covered the economy and markets for over a decade at a major financial news outlet. She lives in Scarsdale with her husband and 2 children. Jen has yet to bake a successful batch of cookies.
Attention Junior Tennis Players
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The New York Junior Tennis League-Scarsdale is organizing youth tennis teams for the 27th year to be entered in the Greater New York Junior Tennis League Jamboree Tournaments for boys and girls between the ages of 7 and 18. Tournaments are arranged for all skill levels including : novice, intermediate and advanced . The boys tournament will take place on Tuesday, August 16 and the girls tournament will take place on Wednesday, August 17.
All participants should meet for a practice between 6 and 8 PM on Monday, August 15 at the Middle SchoolTennis Courts. Each player will need a valid 2011 Scarsdale Junior Tennis permit. The Tournament registration fee is $ 40 and each player will receive a participation trophy, a Scarsdale NYJTL T-shirt and a pizza and ice cream party.
Youth and parents interested in participating should contact Bob Harrison, volunteer director for 27 years at 914 725-0962 or 914 646-4054 (cell) or by e-mail at proscars@aol.com .
Fun on the Fourth at the Scarsdale Pool
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July 4th at the Scarsdale Pool It was a day for fun and game at the Scarsdale Pool on Monday July 4th. Under sunny skies kids enjoyed huge inflatables like the race car slide and the bouncy castle – while others played water basketball, tether ball and sprung off the high dive. Lifeguards were on hand to keep it safe and to paint kids faces and hands in patriotic colors. Elmo stopped by and was greeted with a smile by all. Take a look at our photo gallery of pics from the pool.
Photos by Lindsay LeBoyer
Fool Me Once.....
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You know the old adage, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” In my case it could be rewritten, “Fool me five times, because you know I am a fool.”
In my latest tale of woe, my youngest daughter was intent on celebrating her nineteenth birthday with a party at our house. Due to her summer birthday, this was the first year she would be home to celebrate. She has always felt that her big day was not properly recognized in the dog days of summer.
My husband and I are willing hosts and enjoy throwing parties. We have fun planning menus, cooking unusual dishes and inviting friends to share our home. It only seemed fair to give my daughter equal time and honor her walk into adulthood with a nice soiree for her new group of college friends and her old set from Scarsdale.
Ever wary, my husband warned me over and over that this civilized evening of food and fun could easily degenerate from festivity to debauchery. Determined to prove him wrong I tried to negotiate the guest list with my daughter and got repeated assurances from her that the roster was limited to trustworthy friends and “good kids.” We even went as far as to order a big box of party favors, hoping to keep the kids occupied and out of trouble. Since some of her college friends would be driving from the city, Long Island and New Jersey, she asked if a few could stay over and I agreed to that as well.
In the days before the party, the heat dome converged on us and the trips to the party story, Costco and the bakery were more difficult that we had imagined. Hoisting $500 of groceries and soda in and out of the car in 100 degree heat was taxing. Though we planned to party outside, the oppressive heat caused us to move it indoors.
After a full day of cooking and set-up, the big night arrived. Early guests were polite; introducing themselves, shaking hands and thanking us for the invitation. A second wave of guests arrived and the house started to hum. My husband retreated to the patio to cook over 30 pounds of steak, chicken and shrimp, running in and out of the house to cool down. While the meat cooked, he doused himself under the hose and by the time the food was done he looked like he had run a marathon.
Despite the effort, we were happy to see 50 kids line up and load their plates. There seemed to be ample room to sit for dinner and as everyone ate I thought for once I had proved my husband wrong. This party was going well. We moved outside to sing happy birthday, light up sparklers and revel. The evening appeared to be a success.
However, little did we know, that while we were cleaning up in the kitchen, a big crowd of local friends had arrived through the basement door. We were so busy clearing tables, tossing cups and loading the dishwasher, that we didn’t hear the roar from downstairs until it was too late.
A rowdy group of teens was downstairs honoring a longtime tradition and playing a game I can’t mention on the site on our ping-pong table. There were sounds of screaming and sloshing…. sounds we recognized from the days our older son pulled the same stunt. By the time we asked my daughter to clear the basement it was trashed. My heart sunk when I saw the puddles, a trampled, filthy, wet rug, a sticky floor, and garbage everywhere.
In that one glance my happiness evaporated. A joyful night had turned into another disappointing display of bad manners. I was surprised all over again by the guests disregard for our home, and ultimately for us. Though I can’t be sure, it appeared that the culprits were the kids from Scarsdale, not the visitors who had travelled far to get here. I don’t know what other Scarsdale parents tolerate in their own basements, but I sure hope my daughter doesn’t act the way her guests did when she is invited to their houses.
It seems to me that parents in Scarsdale are pre-occupied with underage drinking… but shouldn’t they really be worried about behavior? What has become of manners? Isn’t it time we demanded some civility from our kids?
The author wishes to remain anonymous to protect her daughter's identity.
E Club Raising Funds for New Team Lockers
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The E Club, a group of dedicated parents, is raising funds to renovate the team locker rooms at Edgemont High School. Founded in 1950, this booster organization supports Edgemont athletic programs and fosters community spirit. Funding from the E Club helps Edgemont athletes be the best they can be when they train and compete.
The current team locker room is under-utilized and in desperate need of new lockers. The proposed new space will be lined with lockers that will adequately store the students’ athletic gear. The new space will be utilized by both the Edgemont student athletes and visiting teams. The E Club will provide partial funding for this capital improvement which will include 60 lockers at a cost of $300 each. The E Club has already pledged $6,000 and is looking for sponsors to complete this project. They are already about 2/3rds of the way there after a mass mailing went out last month to parents. Ideally they would like to complete the project before the school year begins in September. Community members interested in contributing can send in donations to Sheldon Glassman, E Club Membership, 9 Warnke Lane, Scarsdale, NY 10583. As a special incentive to contribute, there will be a plaque outside the locker room thanking families for their contributions to this project.
The E Club is also planning an evening of fun family entertainment at its second annual Family Mini Golf Night. Save the date for
Please visit E Club's informative website for news of their ongoing fundraising efforts and upcoming events. During the school year, the site also has weekly sports schedules and updates for all the junior and senior high school teams.
