Lauren On Our Mind

It’s June in Scarsdale … a time for proms, moving up ceremonies, end of year activities and fun. For parents, it is a time for milestones in their children’s lives -- the completion of a grade, the end of elementary school and for some, high school graduation. However, the recent news about Lauren Spierer at Indiana University has cast a pall over this joyous time and a shadow across the entire community.

In a school district as small as Edgemont, with only 144 students in the graduating class, the Spierer’s are well known and their daughters have crossed paths with a wide swath of their neighbors. Everyone seems heartsick about her disappearance and after they express concern for her, they often say something like “there but for the grace of God go I.” Lauren’s disappearance has highlighted the fragility of our lives and the inability of parents to protect their children, especially when some attend college hundreds of miles away.

Edgemont mom Caroline Tzelios sent in the following on how Lauren has touched the community:

As the buses headed toward 6th grade camp departed on Monday morning, parents spoke of the search for Lauren Spierer. A concerned mother summed up her feelings, "It is difficult enough to wave good bye to your 11 year old as he leaves for just five days with his friends -- what must the Spierers be going through after not knowing where their daughter is for over a week. My heart goes out to them and I pray every night that there will be news soon." Everyone agreed that the situation is heart breaking, every parent's worst nightmare.

Wherever you go in Edgemont, parents talk about Lauren and everyone's hope is the same: that she be found alive and safe and comes home soon. In a small community where everyone knows each other, many families feel like a member of their own family has gone missing. It has been a real wake up call in Edgemont about the dangers that all the children face when out in the world.

In Scarsdale, a high school senior, who headed out to Bloomington this week for her student orientation at Indiana University reports, “The mood on campus seems a little eerie, seeing [Lauren’s] picture everywhere, police, and search parties all over.”

Here at home, parents with college-aged children have Lauren on their minds as well. One Scarsdale Dad with a daughter who just completed freshman year said, “I tell my kids that nothing good ever happens after midnight.” But what good does that do when college parties often begin at midnight?

Another Mom was perplexed about why this generation of students seems to party to excess. Among students it appears to be a badge of honor to get sick, black out or end up in the hospital. Though it was legal to drink at 18 years old when most of the parents came of age, few of us remember our peers abusing alcohol to this extent. Schools have stepped up education on substance abuse. However the message does not seem to be getting through.

I always tell my kids to travel in packs and never go out alone. But according to students at Indiana University, the blocks where Lauren was last seen were well traveled and generally thought to be safe. At some point, students need to go home to their own dorms or apartments and inevitably they do walk alone.

In sum, all of our good advice cannot protect our children from the risks of the real world. I guess we just have to accept that even when our kids do everything right, things can go wrong. Whether we knew Lauren personally or not, we all feel the Spierer’s pain and hold out hope that she will be found.

Many families are planning to attend a fundraiser for Lauren at Edgemont High School on Thursday night. June 16 to send positive thoughts to the Spierers. Here are the details:

The extended Edgemont community is invited to "Take A Stand to # Find Lauren," a fundraiser for the Find Lauren Fund, this Thursday, June 16, 7 p.m. at the EHS Football Field at Edgemont Junior Senior High School. Bring your mats, towels, $10 or $20 bills and learn or enjoy simple yoga moves while sending positive energy and thoughts to bring Lauren back to Edgemont. 100% of the donations will go to the Find Lauren fund. Even if yoga is not your thing, you are invited join the Edgemont community to show the Spierers our love and support.