Have a Little Faith

The hoopla this past week in Scarsdale caused me to reflect on our family’s experiences with the police and the administration at Scarsdale High School. Thinking back to my son’s senior year, I realized that we had been confronted with a similar situation, but unlike the Labor Day incident this year, it was quickly resolved. Though parents today are reluctant to involve the authorities when there is trouble, we had no choice.

On a frigid January night, unbeknownst to his parents, my son witnessed a fight at the Golden Horseshoe parking lot, which pitted a few Scarsdale boys against some kids from New Rochelle. To this day, I don’t know exactly what happened, but a golf club was pulled from a car trunk and a friend of my son’s emerged from the fight with a broken hand.

My son drove the injured boy away from the scene and his parents called the police. The next day, the Scarsdale police asked my son to come in and tell them what had occurred. We were not aware that he went to the police, but in typical fashion my son wrote a lengthy account of the fight. Calling on his experience in the mock trial and debate clubs, he saw no need to consult his parents or a lawyer.

A day later we found out about his visit to the police and we were terrified. Would his early decision acceptance to college be rescinded or would he be suspended from school? My son seemed certain that he had only been called in as a witness and that he was not in trouble.

We held our breaths and waited a few weeks, and as my son promised, nothing whatsoever happened.

A good friend shared a similar story of her daughter’s brush with the law when she was a senior at Scarsdale High School and a captain of the Varsity Soccer Team. While her parents and the parents of several teammates were enjoying dinner in the city, she held a gathering at her house. One thing led to another and she was suddenly surrounded by way too many kids who were drinking at the house.

The police arrived and the distressed girl decided to take the rap for her friends. She was given a summons for serving alcohol to minors, which is a misdemeanor, and had to go to court. The judge required her to do 20 hours of community service and the SHS Soccer Coach pulled her from two soccer games. No mark appeared on her school transcript and today she is a very successful college senior who plans to go into public service.

In both instances, the students were dealt with fairly by the law and the school and they learned a valuable life lesson.

In my current role as a reporter, I have the pleasure of meeting weekly with the Scarsdale Police to review the blotter. When incidents involving kids under the age of 18 are reported, their names are omitted from the reports. In addition, those under 18 have youthful offender status and their records are sealed. I have found that the Scarsdale police do everything they can to teach young offenders a lesson while safeguarding their identities and records so that their mishaps will not affect their futures.

Scarsdale High School has a philosophy similar to the police. In the student handbook it says, “Scarsdale High School generally believes in maintaining confidentiality in matters of student discipline. Our goal is to help students learn from their mistakes, most of which are minor violations of school rules, and thus we consider most disciplinary infractions an internal matter among students, their parents, and the institution.

In discussing the Labor Day incident many commented that the Code of Conduct did not apply as school was not in session and the incident occurred off school grounds. However, the Scarsdale student Code of Conduct clearly states that students must abide by the code whether they are on or off school property, when school is in session and even when it is not. Here is the wording from the handbook:

These expectations apply to every student involved in sports or club activities whether on or off the school premises and regardless of whether school is in session at the time of the conduct. Students who do not adhere to those standards are subject to disciplinary action by the school administration and/or the Fairness Committees.

Though it is a far-reaching policy, it is the one we have adopted and must respect. If we do, I think we will all be better for it. In my view, trust needs to be restored between the police, the school and parents so that together we can instill good morals and good judgment in our kids. When students go astray it is essential that parents follow protocol and trust in the authorities and the school to take action according to code. Their children should be fairly treated and learn that some rules cannot be broken. Hopefully they will emerge from their travails as better young adults. I fear that those who do an end run around the authorities to protect their children ultimately sabotage themselves.