How to Protect Your Kids from Dangerous Apps

"Parents have no idea what apps are on our phones."
"My parents recognize app names but they have no idea what the icons look like."
"Parents have no idea what apps do and the risks they pose."

These quotes came directly from incoming high school seniors and recent high school grads. According to these teens, their parents have no idea about what apps are on their children's phones. Why should parents care about these apps? Can they be dangerous or used maliciously? What can be done to protect kids from the downsides of certain apps?

Why you should know what's on their phones
Parents are ultimately responsible for their children until they are legal adults. Some apps can be used to bully, form cliques, speak anonymously, rate others and even solicit sex. Parents of tweens/teens should have the ultimate say as to what apps are on their child's phone and they should be familiar with the apps' uses. Apps have gotten teenagers into trouble that will follow them into adulthood and may impact their ability to get into college or find employment.

Even if you do know what apps your kids use, you can't control everything. One high school student told me about an incident that landed one of her classmates on a sex offender list. The classmate downloaded nude photos off the Internet, used Photoshop to change the faces on the photos and then posted them online claiming they were naked pictures of students in the school. Before he was arrested, he even sold hardcopies of the pictures. This was done using only Facebook.

How could apps put your child at risk?
A 16-year-old girl from Pelham High School told me about "Twitter fights" where people are mocked or criticized without using names. Kids post sub-tweets or subliminal tweets that refer to a particular user without directly mentioning their names, as a form of mockery or criticism." The posters think they can avoid any form of blame or punishment since no particular person is mentioned (it's just assumed). The Pelham student said that it has caused many fights between students in her school and allows nasty rumors to spread rapidly.

Teens often use Snapchat to text or post videos because the messages "disappear" automatically after just a few seconds. Teens believe they can send or say anything as the evidence disappears after it is sent. However these photos, videos, and texts don't truly disappear. Others can take screen shots of a picture or text before it is deleted, which has landed some teens in trouble. Snapchat has a security feature that will notify someone if a screen shot is taken, but this feature can be overridden by yet another app. Snapchat has been used by college students, for example, to shame people. "I remember a Snapchat picture going all around college of a girl leaving a guy's room early in the morning after a one night stand- it was awful for her for the next month at school," said one college sophomore. One teen told me that group chats are often very exclusive and are the modern way to form cliques.

Tinder is another popular app that is used to arrange hook-ups. A teen can type in the age and gender of a desired partner and their own geographic radius and instantly find others who fit the bill. Swiping your screen one way allows you to like a photo and the other way allows you to dislike a photo. Hook ups are arranged anonymously. Experts feel that the location service puts kids at risk for stalking or sexual harassment and facilitates face-to-face meetings with strangers and potentially dangerous predators.

Kik (pronounced "keek" by high schoolers, "kick" by parents) is an app that sexual predators use to lure children and teens into submitting naked photos of themselves and to inquire about their sexual experiences. There are 90 million users and there are no parental controls. Education.com ranks it as one of the worst apps for kids. It has been used to transmit child pornography and is often mentioned by pedophiles as their ideal app. A recent Mamaroneck High School graduate told me that nobody at her school uses Kik because the school held an assembly to discuss the dangers of the app. Interestingly, the Kik website has a law enforcement tab which notes that they are sponsoring the 27th annual Crimes Against Children conference.

Many parents have Instagram accounts and use them to post photos of their children. However, it's becoming more common for teens to use Instagram to rate other teens via online beauty and popularity contests.

Yik Yak permits users to chat anonymously and with people nearby. Users can post messages, rumors and comments and vote posts up or down. Though it's rated for ages 17+, anyone can download the app. Two high school students I spoke to said that Yik Yak is used for bullying. School administrators have warned against using it as police can trace messages back to a single phone and user.

What can be done to protect kids from the downsides of apps?
This one's easy. Know your child's phone! Know the app name, recognize the icon, and do your research online to determine whether the app is something you want your child to use. If you decide that an app is potentially dangerous, give your child a good reason why it needs to be deleted.

If an app fits into a "gray" area of safety, talk to your son or daughter about how to and how not to use it. For example, if your teen uses Snap Chat tell them that texts can be saved and recovered by law enforcement. Encourage them not to participate in group texts that are mean or inappropriate.

Educate yourself and your kids about apps and their potential pitfalls. Though the apps listed above aren't inherently dangerous, when misused they can cause a lifetime of trouble. Read advice from a psychologist on parenting tech savvy kids here.