What to Expect When You’re Expecting … To Leave for College

It’s the end of an era. It’s the start of a new beginning. For some, it’s scary. For others, it’s exciting. For everyone, whether you’re taking a plane, a train, or a car, it’s a chance to start anew.

Whether you fall into the category of nervous, excited, or anything in between, you are not alone. As the class of 2011 begins the great migration to their respective colleges and universities, there seems to be a wide range of reactions to the prospect of leaving home, all of which are perfectly normal.

Jamie Tartell, who will be attending the University of Rochester in the fall, admits, “I'm nervous about adjusting to an entirely new place where I know very few people. I'm also nervous about the difficulty of the classes.” Nevertheless, Jamie is confident that she will soon overcome this feeling of uneasiness. “I think that reaching out to other people will help me feel more comfortable and find my niche.”

In terms of overcoming common concerns when it comes to leaving for college, members of the class of 2011 can look to their predecessors for advice. Adam Dubner, who will be entering his sophomore year at Washington University in St. Louis, said, “When I left for college I was most nervous about having to start over by making new friends in a place that I was not used to, since I have never lived anywhere but Scarsdale. I dealt with homesickness by participating in a lot of different activities and spending a lot of time with friends so that I never really had time to think about how I was not at home.”

Another common fear involves the idea of leaving the comforts of home where parents are always there to look out for students, and going to a place where students must look out for themselves. Emily Michaels, who will be entering her sophomore year at Cornell University, learned to love the independence that comes with going to college. “I love the feeling that I'm growing up and have to begin to take responsibility for myself. It's my own decision whether to go out when I have a lot of work or to stay in and get it done. Nobody is around to tell me what to do and I have to create for myself guidelines and restrictions.”

Despite the typical feelings of anxiety with regards to leaving home, many members of the class of 2011 can’t wait for the new experience. “I am really looking forward to living the college lifestyle!” said Michelle Wexler, who will be attending Brandeis University in the fall. “I am excited to take the classes of my choice and become involved in unique clubs.”

Because parents are not the ones doing the actual moving, we often forget that leaving for college is a life-changing milestone not only for kids, but also for their parents, who will be returning to a half-empty or sometimes even entirely empty household.

Robin Gottlieb, who’s oldest of three children will be leaving for college in just a few weeks, is approaching the new living situation with trepidation. “The dynamic in the house will definitely change”, said Gottlieb. “It will be strange not having him around every day, just to catch up with, even if for a few minutes. It will be interesting learning how to find the balance in communicating with him when he is at school and worrying about someone when you have to imagine what they are doing on a daily basis.”

Michelle Levine, who has one daughter that has already graduated college and a set of twins now leaving for college, will soon be an empty-nester. “So far I'm ok with it because I know it's time for them to leave and I'm very excited for them. So many people have asked me about this that I feel like I'm supposed to be very sad. I might be when we get back to the house and it's quiet, but for now I'm just happy for them.”

Whether you are a student leaving for college or a parent sending your children off to college, there exists a unanimous and inevitable sense of apprehension and excitement that accompanies the process. As yet another class graduates and begins the great migration, it is important for students and parents alike to remember that the Scarsdale community provides a strong support system that extends far beyond the geographical limits of our town.

Shelby Rokito recently graduated Scarsdale High School, and will be attending Cornell University in the fall as a Communication major in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. She loves writing, cooking, and playing with her dog.