Deborah Skolnik Publishes 100 Days of Gentle Scarsdale Satire

Long time Scarsdale resident and writer Deborah Skolnik has released her book '100 days of Gentle Scarsdale Satire," a collection of hilarious satirical poems that gently poke fun at our town's most lovable quirks. Based on her Facebook page, which has attracted more than 700 followers, this book will resonate with not only Scarsdalians, but anyone who appreciates a good laugh.

Skolnik says, "I grew up right here in Scarsdale--Edgemont, to be exact. My family moved here in 1969. Aside from college and six years in the city, I've lived here my entire life. I'm fortunate to be married to a wonderful man, TP Enders, and we have two children.

There have been so many changes in the Scarsdale Village. It's kind of sad to see so many empty storefronts -- there's a poem in the book about that, in fact. The rise of internet commerce has definitely contributed to this, I'm afraid, and so has the onward march of technology in general. For instance, it's hard to imagine someone ever again opening up a store like Reading, Writing and Wrapping in the village, now that so many people read e-books and send e-mails instead of letters. And there used to be a store called the Spencer Five and Dime, filled with all sorts of merchandise--like a mini eBay. We kids could buy pink rubber balls there, and I remember being fascinated by the Tiny Dream Curlers--wee little hair curlers they sold for about a quarter. It's impossible to imagine such a humble store in the Village anymore. But on the bright side, fro-yo was a big thing in Scarsdale Village in the 1980s, and then it disappeared, BUT IT'S BACK, BABY!

And you know the bridge where CVS and Little Thai Kitchen is? On the other side, there used to be a whole other row of stores. There was a clock store there and we bought a clock from it that's still in my childhood bedroom. For real! Now that makes me feel old.

In these 40 years, Scarsdalians have remained fundamentally the same--educated, ambitious, conscientious, generous, and child-centered. We're just these things to an even greater degree than we were before. One big change I've seen is that we've become more racially and ethnically diverse, which enriches us all.

On my writing career

I graduated from Edgemont High School and then attended Cornell University. I majored in English and graduated in 1989. After that, I embarked on a 25-year career working at a variety of newspapers and magazines--Woman's Day; the late, great McCall's; American Baby; The New York Daily News; Parents; and Parenting. I spent 8 happy years at Parenting when, in 2013, it folded. I was super fortunate and immediately got a job working for Myron Corporation, a large promotional products firm located in Maywood, New Jersey. If anyone wants the world's best pens, pocket diaries, desk journals, or other items to promote their brand, we are THE source! I have helped write a dental humor calendar for us (yes, that's a real thing) that does very well. It's called Bright Smiles--visit myron.com and check it out!

What I Write About

I've written for every publication mentioned above, plus others including Redbook, Glamour, Closer, The New York Times, Reader's Digest, and Westchester magazine. My writings range from heavily reported pieces to humor pieces and essays. Last year, Reader's Digest bought a few of my Facebook posts and ran them in their "Life in These United States" humor section, which I found humorous in and of itself! I hadn't submitted them--a friend I used to work with thought the posts were funny, and showed them to the magazine's humor editor.

I also once wrote a song about a brand of birdseed called Birdola. I don't know why, except that the name made me laugh. My husband put a snippet of me singing the Birdola song on YouTube, and several months later, the company reached out to me because they wanted the song! All my friends thought I was going to become a millionaire, but I kept reminding them that I have never seen a birdseed commercial on TV in my life.

In the end, it turned out that the company just wanted to sing my song at their annual Christmas party. I traded them the right to do that in exchange for some birdseed and a sweatshirt that says 'BIRDOLA' on it. So while some people complain that they work for peanuts, I work for birdseed!

How Gentle Scarsdale Satire came to be

One morning last winter, shortly after we parents had all dropped off our kids to school, the school called us and told us to come take them home again because the weather was getting worse. A bunch of parents were complaining about it on Facebook, and a poem popped into my head about it. I put it on the Scarsdale Moms Facebook page - a wonderful community resource- and it got a tremendous response. I was surprised!

After writing a few more poems, it became clear to me that my work would be better off living on its own Facebook page, with a self-selecting audience. I put a note to that effect on the Scarsdale Moms page, inviting people to join my poetry group. I thought maybe 30 people would sign up, and stick around till the snow thawed. Instead, the group now numbers more than 700 people. I am so grateful to each and every one of them.

Sometime this fall, I became aware that I was nearing the 100-poem mark. Quite a few people had suggested making the poems into a book. That hadn't been the original intention, but I figured why not, once there are 100 poems? I finally reached that number a few weeks ago.

Linda Purvis and me

Linda is an incredibly gracious lady. She's retired now, but until last year, she was the Assistant Superintendent of Scarsdale schools. Hers was the voice we would hear on the robo-calls announcing snow days and delays, and as a result she took a lot of heat for those decisions, even though she didn't make them.

When her retirement party was announced, some people in the community who were aware of my snow-day poems (which mentioned Linda) suggested it would be great for me to write a poem in her honor. I did, and was invited to read it at her retirement soiree! I was really nervous; it was a fairly formal setting, and I had to get up in front of the large audience and recite my verses. But I wanted to honor Linda along with the rest of the community. I brought a few laughs to a very bittersweet occasion, and I was glad for that!

I also got to pose with Linda for a picture, which was awesome. She's my Beyoncé!

Why you should definitely own a copy!

I hope a lot of people will want a copy for their coffee table or as a holiday gift for a family member, friend, or anyone who grew up here or recently moved to town. Even if you've never visited Scarsdale, the poems are bound to strike a chord, especially if you live in the suburbs! These verses are about stuff like childcare struggles, overpriced real estate, parking tickets, and lawns that refuse to stay green. I think it's all a good laugh, and a great cause will benefit with each purchase, too: A portion of all the profits will go to My Sister's Place, a wonderful charity that combats domestic violence and human trafficking in Westchester County.

I don't pick on any one person, only on things that I think are near-universal challenges, amusements, or frustrations within our community. Early on, I learned to be mindful of the first word in Gentle Scarsdale Satire! I think at their best, my poems do make people pause and think. I've written about topics like people's over-eagerness to knock down homes with historic significance, for instance, and people who double-park their cars. These may be the same people!

Next on my list

It's been my lifelong dream to write for Saturday Night Live. I'm going to send a copy of 100 Days of Gentle Scarsdale Satire to Lorne Michaels and beg him to just let me be a fly on the wall at a writer's meeting. What have I got to lose? The worst he can do is ignore me or say no.

I was also about halfway through writing a romance novel last summer--a continuation of a trilogy by another author--when I got busy with other things. I may pick it up again too.

You can buy your copy on Amazon here. Skolnik will hold a launch party on Wednesday December 16 at 7 pm at Wayside Cottage. A portion of the profits will go to My Sister's Place.

Here's a poem that Skolnik wrote when England's Princess Charlotte was born.

"All Hail the 'Dale"

A new princess is born! England cheers and rejoices,
and stateside, we add in our own Yankee voices!
But what's the big deal? Because I've gotta say,
in Scarsdale we see princesses every day.
They live in McMansions decked out so chic-shabby
they'd suffice as the setting for McDownton Abbey.
Sadly, these gals lack a carriage and pony,
but with Teslas and Jaguars, they still travel tony.
Slender and coiffed, our princesses look royal
even at C-Town, just buying tin foil.
And just like the Windsors, they seldom feel lonely:
When they eat, you can bet that it's Standing Room Only.