Neighbor Taps Elderly Man's Waterline

(This letter was sent in by a Scarsdale10583 reader who asked to remain anonymous) I read the police blotter so I am familiar with the stories about phone scams, home health aide workers procuring money from their elderly charges, and brazen thieves stealing handbags from cars parked on our local streets. Last spring, when my father returned home from Burke Rehabilitation with 24-hour home healthcare I was mindful of the stories I have read over the years and took the proactive step to manage his finances from my home. I reminded him and his aide of all of the phone scams – and made it clear that he should not divulge his social security number to anyone and that his two grandsons were safe and sound in college and did not need their grandfather to send them money at any time. I explained to each aide that they should not leave their handbag in their car when parked outside of my father's home and to always lock the car doors.

It never dawned upon me that my father's neighbors would be the ones to rob him of his dignity and his property.

The moment he returned home we realized he could no longer manage the stairs at the back of his house, which required him to traverse the lawn to enter his home through his front door. His comings and goings are difficult as he is shaky on his feet and fearful of falling. Further complicating the process are the piles of dog poop that he has to navigate on his front lawn. In an attempt to stop the poor behavior of the dog owners who do not pick up after their animals, we placed a cute, plastic sign in the shape of a dog reminding dog owners to curb their dog. It was stolen within one day. Now there are two, not-so-cute signs on his property that say 'keep off the grass'. Still his neighbor's dog(s) use his front lawn as their public restroom and their owners leave it behind.

This past Saturday, on a beautiful day in February, we discovered that his neighbor was taking more from him than his front lawn. It turns out my father's next door neighbor has been instructing her car washing service to use my father's water spigot and hose to wash her cars. It is unclear whether this began when the neighbor turned off her outside water for the season, or if this has been on-going. When I asked the homeowner if perhaps the story had been relayed to me improperly, she told me indeed she has been "innocently" using my father's hose and water. She went further to tell me that her car washer is only at her home monthly - as if it's okay to use his property since its only monthly. I suggested twice that she should have asked first, however she did not acknowledge this with agreement or an apology. She simply stated that her use of his property was an innocent move. It certainly may have been. And I gave her the benefit of the doubt, hoping she would ring his doorbell the next day to take responsibility for her mistake. I was sorely disappointed.

We take all of the precautions to protect ourselves from strangers robbing us. We secure our homes with alarms and cameras. We diligently sign up for identity theft alerts and services. We do background checks on our nanny and home healthcare workers. Somehow, though, we don't suspect that our neighbors will be the ones to rob us of our dignity and our property. Perhaps I am naïve.

I have asked that this story be published anonymously because I am sure my father's next door neighbor will live in Scarsdale for many more years. I want to permit her to walk through town with her head held up high ... something my father can't do because he's too busy looking out for dog poop!